In my mind I miss EVERYTHING in China/Asian crazy. I literally mean everything, dear families, delicious food, fast-speed life style, opportunities, risks and growth, even including air pollution, busy crowd and food poisoning. But, surprisingly, Kason is the one who always wants to move out of Utah and move to China and seek for valuable growth, for career, family and spirituality.
Most of times, I don't dare to think far and create fantasy illusion. I try to enjoy the most out of the peaceful life in Utah. And, I definitely love the families and close friends who love to hang out with us. I blueprint the future where Kason and I will grow a big family here and raise our children the comparatively relaxing, happy way. On the other hand, thinking of moving to Asia, noises are there telling us that is not a good idea - "be cautious, for your own good."Again, the the boiling feeling hits me again - China is calling.
Back in April when I visited my families and some good friends in China, I also got a full-time job offer from a great company that I always want to work for. I said "no" to it with no second thought.
Later, I visited an American family in Shenzhen, Karin's sister. On Sunday, I visited the expat. ward in Shenzhen - in a not-so-big villa where the foreign LDS members meet. I still remember the piercing feelings I had when everyone sings the opening hymn Called to Serve. The empty looking villa suddenly was transformed to a holly chapel and I saw the spirit coming. Listening and singing, my heart was instantly melted and inspired by this particular "chosen" group. However, I knew at that moment, the time was not right for me and things will probably not work out. And, I knew that God will take care of my good desire in his way, if I follow his will.
Coming back to the States, Kason mentioned this a couple of times too. I was glad and also worried about how things will work out. Leave his good job/company? Where to? What about cost of living? What if we start to have children? How are we supposed to save money and not have financial burdens?
The thoughts always come back at us, with unsure answers. We try our best to follow the spirit, act on it based on our own understanding and develope our potentials as His children. Chances are, we still have times standing in confusion, wondering if we actually did something absolutely right.
I still know that Heavenly father is there directing us. Thus, if we can be sensitive to the spirit prompting, we will know. If not, we will make decisions and let the experiences come.
Blended China is my fav. theme park in Shenzhen. I love the ethical groups there. I must take Kason there sometimes, he'd really enjoy there, different architectures, clothing and beauties. Shenzhen was such a kind and approachable city with warm weather. Kason would love that!
Especially recently, I feel even closer when we're going through hard things together. I never knew I would be this blessed to have him as my husband because he is so perfect to me.
In terms of making ugly faces, I never let him win the competition.